Tuesday, February 28, 2017

i'm not sure, but ill be okay

A month of love, self-love that is, has come by and as dreary as I've felt these past two days - thanks mother nature *eye roll* - the sun released its rays, I'm dancing in my moon earrings, and feel confident about the days going forward, looking back at the last 28. I've gone through weird obsessions this month, including myself, but also some colors, some media, etc; knowing me, they will stick till the end of the season.

To start on a humble note, I having been loving shades of purple, pink, and orange. Like at the end of blue eyed winter day, sun creates its own thunderstorms and turns herself into a show for only those who seek her out get to feel that beauty. I've climbed my deck, my fence, and my roof about 465463168 times this month to just stay inspired and take in all the hues coalesce. The sun in general, is one thing I will never get over.

Sunrise - February 24
Sunset - February 20

But besides the sun being an amazing star to look at, it brings peace of mind and has been making me feel good about myself as well. Theres no way to say "I love myself" in a humble way, however, I really have been. I love the way the sun makes my frizzy mess of strands glow in rusty orange, and how it kisses my peach cheeked face on the coldest of days. With all uhhhh dat, I have taken too many selfys but a girl feels good, even on the bad days, I've looked in the mirror and said wow if I glow I should pick up this drowning feeling and get myself to be as radiant as possible. 

Everyone should feel like this, in your natural state, at the end of a shitty work day, or after a crying fest, always remember this is you, you can not always be your best, but is you feel you look good or need to wear those weird plaid pants you wear twice every week - you, I mean me - do it! Do you! As long as you feel good, everyone in your radius will fuel from your energy and you'll feel positivity in return. 

Some other rituals I've been working on for overall better feels and good rest is just dancing. I always talk about how I am a terrible dancer, which is true, BUT, it feels so good to dance and recently I've been taking videos of myself grooving to my favorite tunes and then watching them and just laughing at myself, because really, "I Don't Dance," - Chad, High School Musical 2. 

Josh (Father John Misty) and Emma Elizabeth Tillman

My favorite at the moment has been Father John Misty, the mans soulful voice have helped restore my energy and keep days groovy. I have never listened to all of I Love You, Honeybear until now, and it is definitely part of my heavy rotation. The songs on this album are stories of innocence, love, and anger in the most tender but slightly cynical way; and in all, the southern-ish achy breaky heart tones of trumpets, soft guitar strums, and foot taps keep the plots come alive in his strong vocals, and make you want to jive and groove in cobble stone streets - I picture maybe the colors of New Orleans? or in the mist of sand and tumble weeds in some poorly electric lit road side motel. He is a beautiful soul, and dropping an album this year! For movin' / Real Love Baby / Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins) / For more inspo from related to him check out this interview of of his wife.

More songs stuck in my head

California Here We Go by The Garden
Bleed to Love Her by Fleetwood Mac
Free by Angel Olsen
On My Own by Whitney
A Loving Feeling by Mitski

♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥

Other than the typical busting a move, like I said before, self-love is growing but also doing these little spiels has helped me re-evaluate every month and list everything I want to work on, and what I have been happy about: 

- Started embroidery
- Finished my 2nd journal since moving
- Doodling about 3 pages a day
- Developed film
- Spent a lot of time outside
- ATTEMPTED to learn French, I am going back I promise

......................... The 1975 just dropped a song and I just found out after finishing all of this, March is going to be great my friends, I love them, I need better things to write about, I'm having a brain fart I'm not sure what kind of mess of all this I wrote, but I wanted to write!